No, the previous entry was not an April Fool's joke. I only wish it were. (To tell the truth, I can't stand April Fool's Day, so it would be very unlikely I'd ever do such a thing). It's all true. I've moved into a nice apartment and right now Andrew and I are getting things all set up so that we can spend 11 weeks on separate continents.
I can't pretend I'm at all happy with the way things turned out, but I will say that Andrew has impeccable instincts and mine are lousy. He is sure this is the best way to deal with the situation that came up, and I can't disagree. As much as it hurts to be apart, this was the best option - the lesser of several evils, if you will. Now I shall do a little online pouting for you all to see.
This will not be the first time I've been geographically separated from Andrew. In fact, when we first got together, he was living in Florida and I was in Missouri in college. We spent the first six months or so of our relationship that way. It worked out okay (obviously!). Then, just days after he proposed, he was off to Oxford University for a summer visiting student program on castles. I think he was gone for something like 6 weeks then. He'd won a fellowship and it was quite an honor. Since we've been married, though, we've rarely been apart more than a few miles or a few hours. We've spent a handful of nights apart here and there, but very few. Like all successful couples, I guess, we continue to love each other more the longer we're together, so that means that this separation may prove even more painful than the ones that came before.
I predict the worst part will be the simple, every day, being apart. I imagine it'll hurt pretty much all the time and I'll be constantly thinking about Andrew and how he's doing. We're a VERY mushy couple and I tend to miss him even when I'm at work. When I'm not at work and he's not at class or something, we tend to be within 10 feet of each other pretty much all the time. So just knowing he's away will be the biggest strain.
The second hardest thing is the time of year in which we're going to be apart. Next month is my birthday and our 10th anniversary! Ten years! Then in June we celebrate our wedding anniversary (6 years). I'm really sad we'll have to be apart for all or most of those days.
I am really hoping I can arrange to be in Oxford for our 10th anniversary, though. It's such a big deal and I really want to be with my sweetheart on that day. Plus, it falls right around the middle of our 11-weeks apart, so it would break the time up. I'm hoping that I can find a job where they'll be okay with me having that week off. I figure if I mention it up front it'll be okay. And I have enough frequent flyer miles for a free trip, so cross your fingers for me.
Okay, done pouting for now. I'm sure you'll all read more than you ever cared to of me pouting later, so tune in for more.
I do want to say thank you to our very thoughtful friends both here and in Oxford, as well as my readers. You have all been very kind and generous over the past couple of days and weeks. Our friends in Florida have lent us vehicles, muscles and lots of time. Our online and Oxford friends have sent supportive words and positive thoughts. Thanks so much! Also thanks to our families, especially Andrew's parents, for all the help you've given us during this crazy time.
Andrew and I are going to Salt Lake City this weekend to pick up two of our kitties. We look forward to seeing them and my sister, despite the unusual circumstances. Once we return we'll have only a couple of days together before Andrew returns to Oxford. I don't know how much I'll update the site during this time since my arms will be busy holding on to Mr. Hughey.
Posted by Erin at April 3, 2003 05:29 AMYou really should have a warning at the top of this:
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DIABETIC! COULD CAUSE SEVERE GLUCOSE REACTION!
:P Just kidding! As much as I'd like to pick on your gagginess, it's really very sweet. I went through much the same thing when Ron started travelling so much about five years ago. At first it was hard and kind of scary, but then it became not so bad. I discovered things like not having to worry about coming in at 2 am on my night shift and waking him up while I got ready for bed and wound down. I could go a week without vacuuming (ewww, I know, but if you understood how much I HATE vacuuming, you'd get it). Just little things.
At the same time, I still miss him and we call and e-mail when he's gone (even though it's not nearly as often anymore). But it's almost fun sometimes to get a little taste of independence. Not that I feel tied down AT ALL but it's like the best of both worlds for a little bit. You sort of get to see what it's like being on your own while not really having to take any risks and still having all the emotional support via the phone or computer. Now, after about four days I'm done and ready for him to come back, but you'll find something that works for you. We spent four years of college apart, save for some weekends and breaks, so it can be done.
I know right now it's sad and hard, but look for the little things that you can enjoy out of it, without feeling too guilty. It's not going to help Andrew any if you're miserable here, so don't let yourself get too mopey.
Posted by: Kim at April 3, 2003 05:28 PMWHAT!?! THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!
I'm so sorry things are happening this way. I'm going to miss you terribly. And even as bad as I feel because I won't be able hang out with you, I'm even more upset for the stress it will put on you and Andrew.
I don't know what to say. I think I'm going to have to think about it for a while and send you an email when I've been able to collect my thoughts more.
This sucks.
Posted by: Rich at April 3, 2003 10:25 PMhang in there erin. this sounds like the pits.
Posted by: jane at April 3, 2003 10:41 PMAww...:'(...I'm sorry you have to be without him...
"We're a VERY mushy couple..." No kidding! I know y'all can do it...just be glad you go to go with him for the first year! And think, you also have all of us (your family and friends and former students who still love you so much!!) for support. As for our trip out with you, we'll wait until your husband leaves so that you can spend as much time as possible with him. We understand. And we love you!!
I was delving around the Hertford site and ended up here...and now I'm sad. I'm really sorry things haven't worked out brilliantly over here in Oxford, and I agree with Rich that the situation completely sucks. You and Andrew are the MCR's favourite couple and we'll all really miss you Erin. I'm sure things will work out for the best though and I look forward to seeing you soon.
In the meantime, if there's anything I can help you or Andrew with concerning College stuff etc I'll be happy to.
Posted by: Steve at April 6, 2003 10:00 PMIt’s a shame that circumstances have made this year so complicated for you two. It will be a tough few months but I know you are both strong enough to handle it. You will miss each other terribly but keep in mind that Andrew will have your UK friends for support and you have your family and friends here for you as well. The internet is a wonderful thing! “It’s the next best thing to being there.” To steal a phrase. Email, chat, and IM often. Bobby and I are sorry things haven’t gone as planned but you know you can always call on us for anything. Love, Mom
Posted by: Mom at April 7, 2003 04:10 AMguys! i can't believe it! will i ever see you again lovely erin? miss you both way too much already,
xx